Lesley’s story: ‘Running gave me a whole new group of friends’

Lesley works full-time managing a large university department, as well as juggling family life with her partner, two teenage daughters and two dogs. She came to running later in life and is now an active part of the running community in Staple Hill, Bristol.

I was 45 when I began my journey to fitness. I’d done a couple of Races For Life, walking them with friends. One summer a few friends said they were going to do Couch to 5k. They were people that looked like me, so bigger people. I agreed with one friend that we’d do it together and although family life got in the way for my friend, I decided not to use this as an excuse and instead joined a free Couch to 5k group on my own.

I had another friend who wanted to do Couch to 5k but I decided to go to the sessions alone as I was embarrassed being so much bigger than her. I thought, ‘Oh, she’ll be so much better than me’. Even though I was a middle-aged woman with a professional job, I was worried about looking silly.

It took me a couple of goes at Couch to 5k to complete the course. I tried using an app but I found it difficult on my own. I was very unfit and running for just a minute was tough. I didn’t make it to the end of the course and I was really annoyed I hadn’t made time for myself to stick with it.

Then after three months, I’d got my head in the right place and decided ‘I’m going to do this’. The Couch to 5K was incredibly hard and the only reason I stuck with it was because it was a big group. There were probably 15, 20 people every week. Each week the run leader told you what you’d be going to do next week and I’d think, ‘I’m not going to be able to do that.’ But each week I did.

At the end of it, I ran a parkrun and it was just unbelievable. These days I run about three times a week, mostly parkruns and with groups – it’s very rare for me to run on my own. And I’ve also become a Couch to 5k run leader, so I’m helping other people on their own running journeys.
I wasn’t particularly sporty at school but I enjoyed PE. But when I was 14 my body shape changed and I became deeply self-conscious. I would do anything to get out of running.

And that stayed with me until my mid-40s. Before I started running, my self-esteem was shockingly low, but I didn’t realise it. I’ve got a professional job, I manage a big team. But I wasn’t taking care of myself or making time for me.

The other thing that I hadn’t realised was how I’d lost touch with friends and become isolated. My life was just family and work, my social circle had become really small. But running gave me a whole new group of friends who I run and socialise with.

In December ’16 I did my first 10k and loved it, and then I really got into running. I was the fittest I’d ever been, had the most self-esteem. Everything was going brilliantly and that was to do with diet and exercise.

Then in May ’17 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I didn’t have any symptoms, I just went along for a routine mammogram. I had an operation, chemotherapy, radiotherapy and targeted therapy, lasting 18 months. My consultant said: ‘If you can stay active, it will help with your mental wellbeing and your physical wellbeing.’

I’ve got two dogs, so during treatment I walked them every day. When I was well enough I ran/walked at parkrun and when I wasn’t I volunteered to keep me active. Being part of a community of so many people telling me ‘Well done!’ was just amazing. It made getting through my treatment a lot easier.

There is a whole community of people running, people with different fitness levels. In the groups I go to, there are people who are a lot quicker than me but they still run with me, and when I’m leading runs I always run with the slowest person to give them moral support. I was surprised how diverse these running groups are. I think I’ve met more people from a wider variety of backgrounds than I ever have before.

The groups I go running with are just so inclusive. That also surprised me. Once you start going running with a group, you realise how encouraging everybody is. There’s no rivalry. It’s not a team-based activity, it’s just people who enjoy running and want to go out together. I’ve got to the point now where, if I wanted to, I could find someone to run with every day of the week. Looking back, I’m disappointed I didn’t start doing all this sooner.

I can’t imagine not being part of the running community now. I try not to be a running bore but I think I am. It’s changed my life. I’d got into a bad habit of not talking about myself or my life or any of those things. Now just going out with a group and having somebody share something, you suddenly go ‘Yeah, that’s me!’ It’s just the best therapy.

Watch Lesley’s film

This story is an extract from the NIHR Open Research paper How Do You Move? Everyday stories of physical activity.